A New Season
We've all started new things. Whether it has been a new school, a new job, moving to a new city, starting a new project or watching a new series on Neflix. It's part of our walk here on Earth. It isn't foreign to us or at least it shouldn't be. In the land of Christendom newness is so essential in our gospel understanding. We ourselves are new creations in Christ Jesus when we believe in His sacrifice. But the type of new I'm talking about are new seasons; a place to shift focus and walk out our faith a little differently. That's where I am now. I'm in a new season. Being an intern at MHOP is a new season for me. So how did I get here? The all-encompassing answer is because the Lord told me to - but more than that I'm just trying really hard to be obedient to the God that I love. A lot.
In the two months before I stepped into this new season, I went through a very necessary journey with the Lord. It went a little something like this.
Anxiety was my first response. Never mind that the bible says 'do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.' (Phi 4:6), I couldn't think past my own concerns. Giving thanks in my uncertainty or the unseen seemed silly because I didn't know what I was thanking Him for. But in praying about the never ending list of concerns, the Lord would always reassure me with Himself, with His nearness. That I wasn't going into this new season on my own without support, without being overshadowed by His Sovereignty. He would honour my somewhat panicked obedience. I had no reason to not trust Him.
After the anxiety came peace. 'And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.' (Phil 4:7) This peace is special. It's a peace that is undisturbed by new struggles and makes you feel like you have somewhat floated above your anxiety. This is where I felt settled in my decision to take on this internship. Each time I engaged the Lord His peace protected me from and preserved me through things that would otherwise reduce me to tears. Making this decision has been met with negative remarks, blank stares, confusion, withdrawal and yet if not for that peace to know this was His will, I would have back tracked. It has given me a new confidence in God, in His commitment to continuing His good work in me.
Over and over again I had to ask myself this question: Is Jesus worthy of my obedience? Is He worth me walking away from my comfortable previous season into a new one? Yes, He is worthy, He is worth it. If it meant that for a short while I had to struggle to adjust - He is worth it! If it meant that I would feel uncomfortable and out of place - He is worth it! If it meant that I would be deeply overwhelmed - He remains worthy! ‘His mouth is most sweet, and he is altogether desirable. This is my beloved and this is my friend...’ (S of S 5:16) I don't always know what I'm doing with my life but I know this, that Jesus is worthy of my whole life so if He calls me to a new season I'm walking straight towards it. I have come out at the other end of this journey and realised this: that through the anxiety and the eventual peace, this new season allows me to choose Jesus again.
So when that new season inevitably comes around the corner, there is an opportunity that awaits us all. An opportunity that may cause us to be anxious but an opportunity nonetheless to give our yes to a God that is worthy of it. Will you choose to say yes to Jesus in your next new season?